


Hannibal's Secret Pleasures

by Watermelonsmellinfellon



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism, Crack Fic, Fluff and Crack, Hannibal has secrets, Humor, M/M, Murder, One Shot Collection, Pleasures - Freeform, Pole Dancing, Rap Music, Romance, Secrets, adidas slides, hot wings, relationships, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6980770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watermelonsmellinfellon/pseuds/Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series on one-shots about Hannibal's secret addictions.</p><p>A/N: None of the chapters are connected. All are stand-alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Music Man

** A/N: Hello, people! **

** I don't own Hannibal., **

** I have no beta. **

** ENJOY! **

** CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. [HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK. **

* * *

 

Will was running a little early. About half an hour actually. He was supposed to have shown up at seven but there was no traffic and he may have broken the law by speeding on the way there.

It wasn’t like Hannibal would turn him away for being half an hour early though. Hannibal generally let Will sit in the kitchen when he cooked and they would simply talk about anything and everything.

Also, Will had a key to Hannibal’s house, just as Hannibal had a key to his house.

He let himself in the front door and hanged his coat up on the rack provided.

Distantly, he could hear something. Like music. But it wasn’t a harpsichord, nor did it flow like classical music tended to.

Slowly, Will approached the dining room, the music getting louder and louder, until he could finally discern just what it was that he was hearing.

And Will’s mouth dropped.

It was coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t loud, but the tune carried quite a ways in the quiet house.

He tiptoed down the hall, listening as the music got louder the closer he moved.

It couldn’t be Hannibal, could it?

Will peaked around the corner, finding his friend standing at the stove, head bobbing and lips moving to the sound of The Next Episode, by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.

Will stood there for a second, wondering if maybe this was a hallucination, until Hannibal looked over to see him gaping. The doctor then did the unthinkable. Hannibal flinched so hard, he lost his grip on the pan and dropped it, making whatever was inside, spill all over the floor in a loud clang.

“Will!” said the man, looking shaken.

“You like rap music?”

Hannibal looked to be struggling with his words, and just as he was going to speak, the song ended and a new one came on. Will didn’t know the song itself, but he knew Eminem sang it.

“You listen to rap music!” crowed the professor, feeling the amusement building.

It was hilarious! The sophisticated man who hated profanity, uncouth attitudes, and rudeness, actually liked music that usually had all three.

“I will have you know that it is a type of art form that takes skill in various ways. Memorization, tone, quality, writing ability, sound and definition, story, speech, and overall reach. The possibilities are endless and it brings much inspiration to others.”

“You could just say that you like it.”

Hannibal sniffed, regaining his stiff posture and overbearing sophistication. “I appreciate the efforts that go into the craft.”

“You like it.”

“Will…”

“Just say it!” Will prompted, a huge grin in place. “Say that you love rap music and that you were just jamming away when you thought you were all alone!”

“I shall not give you the enjoyment.”

As Hannibal moved to clean up the food that had been ruined, Will moved over to the iPod that was hooked up to a speaker. As he was about to change the song, a strong hand stopped him from moving.

“Please, don’t touch.”

_Note to self, never get in the way of Hannibal's love for music._

* * *

 

** A/N: The first is done! **

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	2. Spicy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal got caught!
> 
> Pure crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and Will are hiding somewhere and Hannibal made Will a guidance counselor in some random school.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Hannibal.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

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* * *

 

Will knew that Hannibal had very exacting tastes. Will had caved one day, and went out to buy some cheese burgers. Hannibal had been so offended by his actions that he did not even look in Will’s direction for a week.

So Will knew that he could not in any way, get away with eating anything that was not made by Hannibal personally. Otherwise he would have committed the gravest offense in the eyes of his husband.

So when Will ended up leaving work early that morning, due to the school where he worked as a guidance counselor - Hannibal’s idea - nearly being snowed in, he decided to surprise his lover by popping up with a bottle of his favorite wine.

And what should Will Graham find when he walked in the front door?

There was a very telling scent in the air and it was not something that he had ever smelled in their house before.

Something hot and peppery.

Hannibal rarely ever started cooking so early on in the day so it couldn’t be dinner, seeing as it wouldn’t even be appropriate to have brunch yet.

Will entered the lavish kitchen and found the most shocking and hypocritical thing he’d ever witnessed.

Will crossed his arms, foot beginning to tap an agitated rhythm as he watch his fellow killer/husband/cannibal hunch over a cardboard box that rested on the counter. In his hands was a chicken wing, and covering his fingers and mouth was enough hot sauce to bathe in.

Will cleared his throat.

* * *

 

“Well, well, well. Look at what _I_ have found here.”

Hannibal froze, knowing that what was about to happen, would never be let go. After the fuss he had made over the cheeseburger incident, Will was most definitely not going to forgive him.

He tried to look innocent, knowing it was pointless because he had been caught in the act, literally red handed.

“That box is from that shabby, little pizzeria on Meridian, isn’t it?”

“Perhaps.”

“And isn’t that considered ‘unhealthy filth unfit for consummation’?”

“Now, I never said-”

“Oh! But you _did_ , Hannibal!” Will smirked, though there was no humor or amusement in his eyes.

“How the mighty have fallen,” tsked the brunet. “I guess this means I can go and eat wherever I want now, since it’s perfectly okay for you to eat garbage.”

Hannibal moaned in despair, already imagining the various things that Will was thinking of eating.

“You know, I feel like some fries with cheese and gravy to add to this lovely bottle of wine I have here!”

Will turned and stalked from the room, taking the wine with him and leaving Hannibal mentally pleading for him to come back. But he was literally _covered_ in hot sauce. Had even worn one of Will’s undershirts for the occasion. He could not venture outside this way.

When the front door slammed, Hannibal sighed.

At least he had his hot wings to keep him company. Despite the hypocrisy involved, they were too good to pass up.

Hannibal shoved another wing in his mouth, unable to help himself. Will would eventually get over this and everything would go back to normal. He was sure of it.

* * *

 

**A/N: Another is done!**

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	3. Adidas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will cannot handle this.

** A/N: Hello, people! **

** I don't own Hannibal. **

** I have no beta. **

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* * *

 

It was bad enough that Hannibal was dressed in the ugliest pair of brown khakis that Will had ever seen. But the entire situation was so much worse than it should have been, all because of what adorned Hannibal’s feet.

Never in his forty plus years, did Will think he would ever be so disgusted before.

And this had nothing to do with bodies, or blood, or even some kind of illness that forced people to regurgitate every hour on the hour.

No, this had to do with clothing. In essence, the clothing of one Hannibal Lecter.

Even when Hannibal dressed down, he was covered in cashmere sweaters, and classy, everyday wear. Nothing ever looked out of place.

But this day. This day of all days, the man decided that doing himself up nicely was not in the works. And what bothered Will the most, out of everything, were the socks. Frankly, they should not even be on Hannibal’s feet in the first place.

Some would wonder just what was so wrong with Hannibal wearing socks, and Will would elaborate.

The socks on their own, were fine. The shoes on their own, were fine. Putting them both together at the same bloody time, was _not_  fine!

Hannibal had on a cheap pair of Walmart socks that rose high on his shins. And over them. Over those ‘less than accommodating’ socks, were a pair of sandals. Adidas Slides to be exact. Hannibal Lecter looked like a damn dork with such clashing styles and Will could not accept it!

 _Would not_ accept it!

“I cannot be seen in public with you if you go outside like that. I don’t care if the people around here wouldn’t see anything different compared to themselves. This bothers me for reasons I can’t even understand.”

Hannibal looked down to his feet. “I see nothing wrong with my attire.”

“ _How_?!” demanded Will, pointing at the offensive sight. “You look ridiculous! Sandals are meant to cool your feet off and putting socks on under them completely defeats the purpose and makes you look ridiculous!”

“Will, I have been doing this for years. I find much comfort in it.”

The brunette scoffed and placed his bag on the floor. “Well then I hope you have fun going shopping.”

“Will?”

Will was already walking back to the bedroom. “I’m not going! I cannot condone that and if you want to go outside looking like a moron, then by all means.”

“You are being very rude, Will.”

“No, I am being honest. You would never let your former acquaintances see you in such a state, so obviously you don’t like it as much as you claim.”

“This is a private part of myself that I am sharing with you.”

“You can share it with yourself. I’m taking a nap.”

Will shuddered at the mental image. It always bothered him how people worse socks with sandals. Why did they do it?

And Hannibal. His darling Hannibal had fallen into such a… a… _a habit_.

Unacceptable!

* * *

 

** A/N: The first is done! **

** How was it? Let me know! **

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, seeing people wearing socks under their sandals bothers me. Like, nauseating. Why though? I can't even understand. I am abnormal.


	4. Pole of Attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal meant for Will to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your're welcome for the mental image, people!

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don’t own Hannibal.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

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* * *

 

Will didn’t know how this had been kept a secret. Quite frankly, he had invited himself into Hannibal’s house so many times, he was shocked that it took him this long to find out Hannibal’s secret.

Once again, Will had been in a bad mood after a discussion with Alana. Once again, he felt like he was being yanked around because she would say something and her body language spoke the opposite. And for someone like Will, who had to read people in their entirety, for a living, it was confusing.

She claimed to not want to add more stress but she was stressing him out by giving off willing signals and getting his hopes up and then suddenly denying him and turning him away.

So basically, he had wanted to get Hannibal’s advice on his consideration of just dropping Alana and their somewhat friendship altogether. He really couldn’t handle the constant switching back and forth and was sick of getting excited and then having his desires trashed. She couldn't make up her damn mind!

Hannibal would provide a good argument on staying and leaving and Will always managed to think better when the man was around.

He’d let himself in like normal, trying to determine where Hannibal was. But the kitchen was dark, as was the dining room. The lights on the bottom floor were completely off and for a second, he wondered if he’d totally barged in while Hannibal was sleeping.

That would be very rude but at the same time, he’d done it before and Hannibal hadn’t seemed offended.

With a shrug, Will had ascended the staircase toward Hannibal’s room.

Yes, he had known where Hannibal’s room was. The knowledge of it came from a night where Will had somehow sleepdrove to Hannibal’s house and woke him up by slipping into bed with the man.

Yes, not one of his better moments and Hannibal had made him stay over for a week after that, leaving the dogs in Alana’s care. During that week, Will learned of his Encephalitis and had gone to three specialists who were all friends of Hannibal’s.

Will felt better now that he wasn’t ill any longer. He was thinking more clearly. Feeling more awake. More energetic. It was an eye opening experience.

And it perhaps deepened his and Hannibal’s relationship, making Will more conscious of the man whenever he got within visible distance. All these little nuances stuck out more now that he paid Hannibal even more attention than before.

Will had been over Hannibal’s house more times than he could count. For various reasons. Never in any of those times, did he think that Hannibal was capable of… this.

It was the room down the corridor. Past Hannibal’s bedroom. A room Will had never been to.

There was a small sliver of orange/pink light shining out into the darkness, from beneath the door. There was music. He hadn’t taken Hannibal for the musical type, but the man loved opera, so it shouldn’t have been a shock. Even if it _was_ Singing in the Rain.

Will was the king of rudeness apparently, because it didn’t even occur to him to knock on the door, but he probably should have. Still, it was much too late now, because he was looking into the room from the partially opened door, where the lights were brighter and the music much louder all of a sudden.

And Hannibal… Hannibal was twirling around a pole that was embedded in the floor and atop it, was a light. It looked like an old street lamp. And Hannibal was clad in a three piece suit with his left leg wrapped around the metal of the pole, while the heel of his other foot was pressed firmly against said pole. Hannibal spun counterclockwise, his body folded in half, with his torso parallel to the floor and the rest perpendicular to the floor.

It was… erotic. Especially when Hannibal suddenly ditched the suit coat mid twirl.

The amount of physical discipline the man had to have to be capable of doing such things. Hannibal was nearly forty-five, why was he so good at this?!

Not that Will objected of men pursuing this sort of thing. He took belly dancing for Christ’s sake! It was just odd to think of an older gentleman, who was sophistication in the flesh, doing such a thing as pole dancing.

Or acrobatics, since it wasn’t much of a dance, despite how fluid Hannibal’s movements were. It demonstrated the man’s limber frame and God, he had to be powerful in body if he could hold himself against the pole in such a way!

Will was feeling like his sexuality had taken a hit. He’d never shown an interest in men before… probably. If he had he didn’t remember it. But this was Hannibal, his friend. The man he had allowed himself to get close to after a year of the man chipping away at his frosty countenance.

Hannibal was different than everybody.

Perhaps Will had had a little crush before coming upon this scene. If he did, it was a crush no longer.

He was hard and his jeans felt obscenely tight.

Hannibal flipped over, landing perfectly on his feet. The man was facing Will’s direction and was smirking. “Hello, Will.”

An unintelligible sound came from the brunet’s mouth as he pointed to the pole, flabbergasted and unable to voice his thoughts clearly.

“I’m so glad you could finally join me, Will. Alana called and I figured you would be around.”

Ignoring the mention of Alana, because he was still hurt, Will stepped closer as his mind bought him up to speed. “You knew I was coming.”

“Mmm.”

“And you _wanted_ to get caught?”

Hannibal smirked was full of sharp and slightly crooked teeth that were suddenly so much more attractive than the last time Will had looked at Hannibal’s face. The burgundy eyes were alight with mischief.

“Did you like the show?” the man asked, a slight purr to his accented tone.

Yes he did! He might have to return the favor one day.

Or maybe…

Will felt himself mimicking Hannibal’s posture, the confidence filling him as quickly as it had Hannibal. He felt empowered and capable of anything now. For once, the mirror neurons were doing good!

“I think I can return the favor.”

A regal brow quirked at his challenge. “Oh? Then by all mean, Will,” said the man, waving his hand invitingly. “Please do.”

Will proceeded to show the man that his hips never lied and that he was a very bossy bottom.

Hannibal had no objections. _And_ he managed to convince Will to give up on Alana with only his excellent upper body strength and fantastic hip work to do the convincing. And maybe some growled Lithuanian as well.

* * *

 

**A/N: DONE! THE LINK FOR THE VIDEO THAT INSPIRED THIS!**

* * *

* * *

 

* * *

* * *

 

**[POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING! POLE DANCING!](https://youtu.be/yCKHlYhz2Xw)**

* * *

* * *

 

* * *

* * *

 

**How was it? Let me know!**

**See ya! :D**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's all appreciate pole dancers! They are some strong people!


	5. GO!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A story of addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humor.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don’t own Hannibal.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK.**

* * *

 

Will sighed in frustration. Ever since the damn game had pretty much taken over the world, Hannibal had been addicted.

And Will could understand addiction. He had an unhealthy addiction to whiskey and had to give Hannibal the control over all the liquor so that he didn’t consume too much at once.

But Hannibal refused to part with his cell phone. Ever since the stupid game had come out, he had been on that cell phone all day and night.

Hannibal had actually forgotten to make dinner last night because of it. And Will had awoken in the middle of the night, to use the bathroom, only to find Hannibal’s face nearly pressed up against his phone as he tried to play the game.

And Hannibal didn’t even play it right. Like, the whole point of Pokemon was to ‘Catch ‘em All’ and there was Hannibal, simply catching only one kind of Pokemon over and over. And he had dozens of opportunities to catch others as well!

But no, for some reason, Hannibal had taken a fancy to the Jigglypuffs only. He had an entire army of them. It had only been a week and Hannibal already had fifty-nine Jigglypuffs ‘under his command’ as the man claimed.

Each had been named after some Greek or Roman hero of mythology, because Hannibal couldn’t have normal names for his Pokemon, like ‘Skip’ or ‘Sparky’.

Will had a plan and it involved the sacrifice of a cabinet of expensive china. If Hannibal actually pulled away from the phone in order to help, Will would be lucky.

As it was, when the first crash sounded, there was a moment of silence, before Hannibal came storming into the kitchen, eyes horrified at the sight of Will surrounded by broken china, hands bleeding.

“Will, I want you to go to the bathroom and rinse your hands off. Wait for me.”

Will was minutely touched that Hannibal had actually detached himself from his phone in order to help his husband. But just because he was happy now, didn’t mean he wasn’t going through with the plan.

The brunet left the room, plucking Hannibal’s phone off the dining room table as he went.

It would take a few minutes, but that was enough time. Will managed to do what needed to be done, before heading off to the bathroom to do as Hannibal had ordered him to.

Several minutes later, with Will’s newly wrapped hands held in Hannibal’s warm ones, he smiled at his lover and kissed him in thanks. He then departed for the garage really quickly, before Hannibal realized what had happened.

“WILL!”

Too late!

Apparently, Hannibal didn’t like Will renaming all fifty-nine of his minions.

Will shrugged, feeling no pity. After all, the names, ‘Your Stupid Game Is Taking All Of Your Attention Away From Your Husband And If You Do Not Begin Showing Him Some Much Deserved Attention Any Time Soon, He Will Not Be Held Responsible For His Actions Involving Your Priceless Mercedes And Your Precious Bottles of Expensive Wine That Are Taking Up The Much Needed Space In The Cellar.’ seemed pretty good to him.

* * *

 

** A/N: Another is done! **

** How was it? Let me know! **

** Check out my other Hannigram fics! **

** See ya !:D **

** CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. [HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW this... Your Stupid Game Is Taking All Of Your Attention Away From Your Husband And If You Do Not Begin Showing Him Some Much Deserved Attention Any Time Soon, He Will Not Be Held Responsible For His Actions Involving Your Priceless Mercedes And Your Precious Bottles of Expensive Wine That Are Taking Up The Much Needed Space In The Cellar... was what Will renamed the Jigglypuff army. 'Your' for the 1st puff. 'Stupid' for the second puff, and all the way down the line. The sentence is 59 words long. One word for each Jigglypuff.


End file.
